(Any real person that this story may depicts was accidental. This is purely fiction. The content is VERY strong but no curse words were uttered. If i missed something slap me and make me a coal miners drabbler.)
By Morgan Olson
Liver was killed in his prime for being the Alpha.
His body was just dumped in the capitol with his son Spleen saluting his John-To-Go in the sky.
The Alpha was the nation and that was a gig Spleen could not follow.
The famous film fascist, P.P., lead the nation into a silent TP war.
P.P. purchased posh port-a-poties and proclaimed poo poo a prophetic past-time.
With all the scatological sarcasm aside P.P. infected himself with sepsis from all the slime.
Soon P.P. forgot where he put the port-a-pot.
His wife C.C. (Chowder Commander) captured control and made P.P. seem the perfect Alpha while the infection made stool for his brains.
Junk-in-the-trunk Wheelbarrow was just such a man to try to unplug things.
Such an Alpha was the Wheelbarrow.
"In Wheelbarrow We Trust."
He was cleaning out the worlds urinal and not the nations.
The media dumped on him during one game show and he was passed along for another lunch box.
The void of the strong Alpha started a back up in the system, and trust in the Latrine was further blocked up by Poke Turd-Nugget.
Everyone called him Nugget for short.
People no longer followed Lavatrina (Latin for the Latrine) that our four fathers dug and honestly we the people only started noticing that things were full to the brim of overflowing because of Nugget.
Nugget abused one to many toilets and swore that piss would absolve all his sin's.
On broad cast radio he proclaimed the nation was moving away from "Doo Doo Dropings and in another direction."
After that he became reclusive like a BLT in summer.
Against all odds he quit with a lot of piss on the round office.
Paint Blotch Jack or PBJ, the Alphas second, cleaned up Nuggets diaper mess with an Alpha Depends Proclamation.
PBJ did not know piss is not easy to clean.
To this day the stink stays with the Parallelogram.
The title Alpha means less and less so the people looked for something different and they found it.
During the next election Miffed Pox took the pot with fools gold.
Not knowing that he was now the Alpha he hid in the office for 2 years only coming out for TP and Cracker Jacks.
While showing the nation his Alpha face, we all found out he had the Beta face he called Stash Dribble.
Stash Dribble had an plunger that just could not get at that pesky little clog.
Against better judgement Miffed Pox told tabloids about Stash Dribble's little clog.
Miffed Pox, in an attempt to hide Stash Dribble, stuck the plunger up his rear and it got stuck.
Being clogged up so bad he spent the rest of his days on a Port-a-Loo
All the little Pox and Stashes heard the stories about plunger and swore to become Alpha one day.
Whimsical Clutch, A.K.A W.C., had him self a grand old time with Bj's in every Tidy John.
W.C. took care of much of the Ditch Dragons and recycled it into the soil as compost.
Ironically BJ (Betty Joy) gave W.C. a hand on national TV.
Helping people had never been so popular and next thing you knew everyone was giving each other a hand.
Bo Pox Stewed about this thinking of his own conception by a hand that just Left Old-Man-Pox a widower.
Bo Pox was elected the new Alpha and he dropped a figurative duce in W.C.'s mouth on national TV.
All the other nations cried when Bo Pox was so mean to little W.C. because they all liked watching BJ's hands.
All his life Bo had heard about the plunger constipation and with his sewer snake he plopped on the Latrine we trusted.
He then gave the world a bowel movement so big, with the same sewer snake, that both Miffed Pox and Stash Face felt real relief.
Bo Pox was not down with the previous administrations hippy composting crap and gave the nation a "Styrofoam Latrine to Nowhere."
Bo did not have a Beta face but you can believe his second, Fung, was enough of a Sōng Huā Dàn (100 year egg) for a long time.
All the newspaper and Blogs called it a Fungcalypse in 100 point font.
Fung pickled his privates as he was the illegitimate son of Nugget.
The video went viral and zip zang everyone had a cheese festival on the lawn of the Brown House.
As all things, a new Alpha came to power and the Dung was waste deep.
The new Alpha has hired up a digging crew to take care of the Poo-Pipeline.
Honestly i hope it works.
We will see how the crap settles but i am sure of one thing.
Poo on you.
No comments:
Post a Comment