Thursday, January 28, 2010

The cookie i could have beat? (Revised) (Drabble)

The cookie i could have beat? (Revised)
by Morgan Olson

"Are these cookies I have been eating,” I wondered all night?
The texture of crackers that set out for a fortnight.
The funny red glow that spoke with a Russian accent.
"Eat John, not me, comrade" as it rumbled the cracks in my head
So I chose the gray cookie with only a little dread.
It tasted square and round as they moved down my GI tract.
I am sure the worms inside me will not give it back.
With all the effort and dirt ahead
I am sure my emotions are not what make me bloated or covered in red.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The tentacle to count on (Drabble)

The tentacle to count on
By Morgan Olson

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The Coal Miners Drabble (Drabble)

The Coal Miners Drabble
By Morgan Olson

She was a stout woman of 44 when her children left her door.

With mouth like a man, she sailed to all the shores.

Digging where she could for buried treasure.

Then bungling Burger Kings from time to time.

At 88, with her cooked back and her peg legs on straight, she grew board of plundering and left everything she knew.

She found not a lover on a street nor in prision.

She tried a pie and a lemon.

At 111 confined to be alone she threw herself deep overboard.

In the most unlikely place she found love from a tentacles cold embrace.

Evergreen open space (Drabble)

Evergreen open space
By Morgan Olson

The star ship landed barley a foot away from the sacred ground.

Gleaming monitors and loud speakers sent out a stream of messages.

Every known form of communications said "We come in peace."

The natives greeted the startravlers and feed them and then wanted to prove they were friends.

Unsure of customs the startravlers agreed conditionally.

The natives chief handed the startravlers leader a soothe wooden disk and pointed to the sacred ground.

Angry, the startravlers got in their ship and left.

The leader of the natives just said to the people

"No worries, they just don't like disk golf."

My forebears would be appalled (Drabble)

My forebears would be appalled
By Morgan Olson

The hunting instincts ran deep within my clan.
Motionless, I watched the trail for half an hour as lesser game passed
I was after the true prize
Nothing less would satisfy my deep hunger.
Keeping still and making little noise to alert the catch to where I lay.
My eyes focused on where each tiny noise came from.
Every honed sense quivered for the chase.
Recognition
It tingled through the tongue as saliva pooled in my mouth.
My instincts keen as I raised and ready to pounce.
“Dan, for the last time that is my Moutian Dew, you jerk.”

Might as well give up and run (Drabble)

Might as well give up and run
By Morgan Olson

“I am so lost in my life with no idea what to do.” James whispered to a small metal rectangle that happened to be his Nokia Prayer Atuner 310i

“I have nothing and I just need some help.” James almost cried

After a moment of lag, the Atuner sent the prayer up to God with a hum.

James sat quietly and a few moments until a deep vibrating noise shook the desk where he had set the Metal Nokia Atuner.

God says: "Keep working.”

that was all the little screen said

Not the best advice for a young suicidal robot.

that was all the little screen said

Not the best advice for a young suicidal robot.

MacGyver clone alive in alaskan wilderness

While searching for more Alaskan algae stories i came across this eye witness version of the story compared to the one eventually published online.

During a private fishing and blood sacrifice in the Alaskan wilderness, three men set up camp and began to clear an area for the appropriate symbols for their impending sacrifice. The chartered pilot, refusing to take part was chosen as the sacrifice was gutted and hung until all the preparations were readied. Stupidly the fishermen left a cooler and bait in the plane. During the sacrifice of a bear the demon broke the boundaries of the circle because they used Kosher salt. (Kosher salt for a kosher demon man that is stupid) The demon, knowing nothing of this plain of reality, did this to the plane. Soon the demon retreated into his own realm with one of the fishermen and parts of the skin of the plane as a trophy. Feeling the sacrifice had only gone slightly wrong the remaining two ate on the old pilot while they figured how to return home. Mid day the next day an heavily bearded man arrived with a roll of duct tape and a balloon animal. In only a few minutes he had repaired the plane with the duct tape and the balloon animals as tires and flew the fishermen home.

While the major details were changed by Wolf news taking out all mention of demon's or blood sacrifice or the mystery bearded man i am sure this is proof that MacGyver clone alive and well in alaskan wilderness. I will continue to use my rotary dial phone to divulge more information about this obvious sighting of MacGyvers clone.

Here are the picture and the edited story.

http://www.armyparatrooper.org/dropzone ... -in-Alaska

There are more fish in the sea (Part 1) (Drabble)

There are more fish in the sea (Part 1)
By Morgan Olson

“An explosive device rocked the normally quiet sea side market this morning, 9 confirmed dead, many hurt” I heard the news caster say.

the officer glared down his nose at me and said.

“So a talking fish asked you to sell him dynamite yesterday?”

“i never expected the Carp to bomb the market.” I heard myself saying while I saw two men struggles with another body.

More sirens rang in the distanced fueling the growing fear inside.

“Damn fundamentalist sea carp, how was I to know.” i felt fall from my lips as I realized this carnage was my fault.

There are more fish in the sea (The Prequil) (Drabble)

There are more fish in the sea (The Prequil)
By Morgan Olson

During the last century there had been three notable revolts against the humans.

The first had been the mole-men, sad and pathetic mostly.

The government tried to cover it up but it had been recorded and foreword to all the tabloid papers.

"Mole-men attempt AIDS bomb, government cover up reviled."

The second was by caterpillars but it never got off the ground.

The common carps finical stability was creepy.

Always on time with their rent, bills, even water.

The fundamentalism among them fell perfectly in line.

None of the carp expected anything that happened next.

This is their fishy tail.

A Political Crap Storm (Revised and Revisited)

(Any real person that this story may depicts was accidental. This is purely fiction. The content is VERY strong but no curse words were uttered. If i missed something slap me and make me a coal miners drabbler.)

A Political Crap Storm
By Morgan Olson

Liver was killed in his prime for being the Alpha.

His body was just dumped in the capitol with his son Spleen saluting his John-To-Go in the sky.

The Alpha was the nation and that was a gig Spleen could not follow.

The famous film fascist, P.P., lead the nation into a silent TP war.

P.P. purchased posh port-a-poties and proclaimed poo poo a prophetic past-time.

With all the scatological sarcasm aside P.P. infected himself with sepsis from all the slime.

Soon P.P. forgot where he put the port-a-pot.

His wife C.C. (Chowder Commander) captured control and made P.P. seem the perfect Alpha while the infection made stool for his brains.

Junk-in-the-trunk Wheelbarrow was just such a man to try to unplug things.

Such an Alpha was the Wheelbarrow.

"In Wheelbarrow We Trust."

He was cleaning out the worlds urinal and not the nations.

The media dumped on him during one game show and he was passed along for another lunch box.

The void of the strong Alpha started a back up in the system, and trust in the Latrine was further blocked up by Poke Turd-Nugget.

Everyone called him Nugget for short.

People no longer followed Lavatrina (Latin for the Latrine) that our four fathers dug and honestly we the people only started noticing that things were full to the brim of overflowing because of Nugget.

Nugget abused one to many toilets and swore that piss would absolve all his sin's.

On broad cast radio he proclaimed the nation was moving away from "Doo Doo Dropings and in another direction."

After that he became reclusive like a BLT in summer.

Against all odds he quit with a lot of piss on the round office.

Paint Blotch Jack or PBJ, the Alphas second, cleaned up Nuggets diaper mess with an Alpha Depends Proclamation.

PBJ did not know piss is not easy to clean.

To this day the stink stays with the Parallelogram.

The title Alpha means less and less so the people looked for something different and they found it.

During the next election Miffed Pox took the pot with fools gold.

Not knowing that he was now the Alpha he hid in the office for 2 years only coming out for TP and Cracker Jacks.

While showing the nation his Alpha face, we all found out he had the Beta face he called Stash Dribble.

Stash Dribble had an plunger that just could not get at that pesky little clog.

Against better judgement Miffed Pox told tabloids about Stash Dribble's little clog.

Miffed Pox, in an attempt to hide Stash Dribble, stuck the plunger up his rear and it got stuck.

Being clogged up so bad he spent the rest of his days on a Port-a-Loo

All the little Pox and Stashes heard the stories about plunger and swore to become Alpha one day.

Whimsical Clutch, A.K.A W.C., had him self a grand old time with Bj's in every Tidy John.

W.C. took care of much of the Ditch Dragons and recycled it into the soil as compost.

Ironically BJ (Betty Joy) gave W.C. a hand on national TV.

Helping people had never been so popular and next thing you knew everyone was giving each other a hand.

Bo Pox Stewed about this thinking of his own conception by a hand that just Left Old-Man-Pox a widower.

Bo Pox was elected the new Alpha and he dropped a figurative duce in W.C.'s mouth on national TV.

All the other nations cried when Bo Pox was so mean to little W.C. because they all liked watching BJ's hands.

All his life Bo had heard about the plunger constipation and with his sewer snake he plopped on the Latrine we trusted.

He then gave the world a bowel movement so big, with the same sewer snake, that both Miffed Pox and Stash Face felt real relief.

Bo Pox was not down with the previous administrations hippy composting crap and gave the nation a "Styrofoam Latrine to Nowhere."

Bo did not have a Beta face but you can believe his second, Fung, was enough of a Sōng Huā Dàn (100 year egg) for a long time.

All the newspaper and Blogs called it a Fungcalypse in 100 point font.

Fung pickled his privates as he was the illegitimate son of Nugget.

The video went viral and zip zang everyone had a cheese festival on the lawn of the Brown House.

As all things, a new Alpha came to power and the Dung was waste deep.

The new Alpha has hired up a digging crew to take care of the Poo-Pipeline.

Honestly i hope it works.

We will see how the crap settles but i am sure of one thing.

Poo on you.