Friday, December 31, 2010

Forever Young

by Morgan Olson

Sparking the contact points always scared me.
Jerry never cared.
There was always the chance of fire.
"I hate you" I screamed as black ooz driped to my face.
I know I signed the contract.
I agreed to try.
How long had Jerry been here?
Well forever as anyone knew.
This time, next time, Jerry said it would happen...naturally.
As the blaze trickled straight for me I was sure my carp was cooked.
The fire barely did anything other than tingle.
Oh my god i am Immortal.
Jerry just laughed and said "10 min or that oil change was free"

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

8 Intergalactic layers

8 Intergalactic layers
By Morgan Olson

There was something so pleasant about a 8 layer Fanog.

The Cheanae layer mixes with the blagna and secret sauce.

Once as a Bevergna i was near death and the neibhor hood
Gamanaica brought me a Fanog and i did recover.

There is no coincidence that the Fanog of the 7 worlds makes for the best flurpin time ever.

My Cheba is always begging for more and more until i just Splargknot all over everything break down and buy 3 Fanogs.

Why are you are looking at me like you do not know what a Fanog is?

That is so like a Tagnuy.


By Morgan Olson

For the past 3 years i lived next to a man who always had smells coming down the hall.

The smells would range from the best bread you ever had to an open sewer.

My wife mentioned how much nicer our place was now and i just let it go.

Well, until my curiosity got the better of me.

I figured just invited him over for dinner.

I did this on a posted note.

The only response we got was on the back of the post and it read as follows.

Honey mustard = treats cancer

Ketcup = love potion

Catsup = Daemon summoning

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

There are more fish in the sea (part 4)

Investigators say some tax funds went to rebel Carp organization, Pиба.

Sources say Carp sympathizers and creative accounting were found only after supervision was out sourced to Sleet Printers inc.

Company spokes people have refused to comment about their involvement.

Federals have arrested's president, Ben Moafish, for harboring castaways.

In accordance to anti-terrorism legislation all fish and swimming things will now have a curfew of 8pm until further notice.

We go now to Rim Shot's Dribblecast for this update.

"I, Rim Shot, will issue a crisp 3 dollar bill for each Carp head to eradicate this Carp menace."

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


By Morgan Olson

"Come here my lovely." William demanded of his prey.

"Not until you sign this non-disclosure agreement." the cheeseburger said defiantly.

"Can't we just frottage each other a little." William eagerly said as he licked his lips

"Well we can...once you sign." the cheeseburger implied in a sultry voice.

William, unwilling to look for a pen, proceed to envelope the cheeseburger in his mouth.

Grease, pooled on the carpet where the cheeseburger had been.

An alarm sounded a long way into the distance,

jumping off the cliff William began to fall.

Awake, William knew his diet was not going well.

There are more fish in the sea (part 3)

There are more fish in the sea (part 3)
By Morgan Olson

Plush Rim-shot yelled diatribes across the air and through the sea.

None had seemed to hate the Carp as much as he.

There were others bragging about Carp beatings and many sold Anti-Carp paraphernalia.

Still, no one had gotten everyone to bobble their heads as well as Rim-shot.

No longer was it illegal to eat Fish n' Chips while driving.

While still illegal, most officers would make sure it was Carp and then send them along their way.

Experiments were done to prove the Carp were from pond scum and Humans from God.

These were funded by Humans against Carp.


By Morgan Olson

When at camp some of the younger kids played with water guns and rode horses.
I never had the luxury because i had been pulled from my cabin during my first night.
The rough hands slapped me around until i cried.
I agreed to do what ever the rough hands said and i came to love the rough hands.
They taught me to sneak around and not be detected by the security agents.
Quickly, i was able to climb any tree and eat snakes.
I was sad i had to go home but i promised i would return next year.