Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Cheeseburger

Cheeseburger
By Morgan Olson


"Come here my lovely." William demanded of his prey.

"Not until you sign this non-disclosure agreement." the cheeseburger said defiantly.

"Can't we just frottage each other a little." William eagerly said as he licked his lips

"Well we can...once you sign." the cheeseburger implied in a sultry voice.

William, unwilling to look for a pen, proceed to envelope the cheeseburger in his mouth.

Grease, pooled on the carpet where the cheeseburger had been.

An alarm sounded a long way into the distance,

jumping off the cliff William began to fall.

Awake, William knew his diet was not going well.

There are more fish in the sea (part 3)

There are more fish in the sea (part 3)
By Morgan Olson

Plush Rim-shot yelled diatribes across the air and through the sea.

None had seemed to hate the Carp as much as he.

There were others bragging about Carp beatings and many sold Anti-Carp paraphernalia.

Still, no one had gotten everyone to bobble their heads as well as Rim-shot.

No longer was it illegal to eat Fish n' Chips while driving.

While still illegal, most officers would make sure it was Carp and then send them along their way.

Experiments were done to prove the Carp were from pond scum and Humans from God.

These were funded by Humans against Carp.

Lurking

Lurking
By Morgan Olson

When at camp some of the younger kids played with water guns and rode horses.
I never had the luxury because i had been pulled from my cabin during my first night.
The rough hands slapped me around until i cried.
I agreed to do what ever the rough hands said and i came to love the rough hands.
They taught me to sneak around and not be detected by the security agents.
Quickly, i was able to climb any tree and eat snakes.
I was sad i had to go home but i promised i would return next year.

Bob should have listened to his ma and there would have not been 70 foot bears attacking his old employers headquarters.

Bob should have listened to his ma and there would have not been 70 foot bears attacking his old employers headquarters.
Drabble By Morgan Olson

Bob blamed his huge mistake on his poor grasp of math.
More specifically the c+ he got in physics.
Bob had dropped out of his Doctor of Engineering program because Bob had tried Enzyte.
Frustration at not being able to loose his erection, his wife allowed Bob to fulfill his poly dreams.
All of Bob's wifes coworkers got pregnant.
It was at the company Christmas party.
All the ladies had sat on Santa's north pole.
"Why am i building robots when in a couple of years i could have a legions of children." Bob thought out loud to no one.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Dried Monkey Brains

Dried Monkey Brains
By Morgan Olson

I can taste the difference between jello and the off brand.
Once i was called in at a whisky factory to tell which vat the brewmasters finger had fallen in.
I smelled it as i entered and told no one.
I tasted both vats to not give away all my talent.
They drained it and eventually reattached his finger.
I honed my craft during the 1980's when Coke and Pepsi were at war.
The footage was never shown because i was to good.
There was only one thing every made me question my skill
Dried Monkey Brain vs. Human.